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So having sex on the first or second date just happens.I don’t think we need to feel guilty or be slut shamed for this.When they actually did meet someone they were into, it seemed to be endless drama about all of the “rules,” mind games and general mind reading needed to figure out where the relationship was going or if they wanted it to go anywhere at all.I can’t tell you how often I’d say to my husband after they left, “Thank God I’m not out there anymore…” Except now I’m back out there.Or they just don’t want to come off like they’re a total slut or man whore.Why this is bullshit: Sometimes the chemistry is there, you’re both into each other, and we’re all adults.If it’s someone we aren’t trying to seduce into liking us, we respond right back.

Being a single mom wasn’t high on my list, but being without someone in my bed, … That lasted maybe three months—the not wanting someone in my bed.

So I opened myself to the dating world: hesitant, not really all in, but at least open to it.

I quickly learned that there are a whole lot of unspoken rules to dating and sex these days. And as much as you’ll hear me say, “I’m too old for this shit,” I am gradually accepting that these so-called rules exist and those of us in the dating world are actually following them for some bizarre reason.

My take: if you enjoyed your time with someone, and you want to see them again, send a flirty text or give them a call to say you had a great time. And they might also think you sleep with everyone you go out on a date with.

Why people follow the rule: people wait a while to sleep with someone for a number of reasons. They want this to be more than a casual hook up relationship.

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